buttlid:

wanna make a secret handshake it involves us touching our mouths together for three hours

(via i-am-a-glowworm)

the-time-goddess-of-221b:

smoochlock:

so my mum told me that as a kid she would peel an apple and throw the peel over her shoulder, and the peel would take the shape of the first letter of her future spouse. naturally, i decided to do it and

image

i’m fucking crying 

it says ‘no.’

it literally says NO.

oh my god

(via whatheballs)

celestial-time-sorceress:

I heard some guy say that abortion was wrong, and I was just like, “It’s not your uterus.” 

and he was like, “What’s a uterus?” 

(Source: mistress-laufeyson, via moriarty)

the-captains-wife:

dutchster:

worldpeaces:

can we just take a second to realize that there are 14 year olds that weren’t born in the 90’s. just fucking let that sink in.

what the fuck does he want now

image

Thats it that’s the single greatest pun on tumblr

(via a-greek-goddess)

patientlights:

If there’s one thing I will never understand, it’s the front covers of textbooks.

"Gentleman, how can we best create a cover that displays the core concepts of chemistry and summarizes the contents of the subject?"

"Let’s put a guy with a surfboard on it."

"Fucking brilliant, Jim." 

(via somewhereinmoshingland)

ghostsfacer:

ghostsfacer:

just got back from the vet. you guys know what my dumb dog did?

he sprained his tail. from wagging it too hard. this is the stupidest thing.

image

(via takinglifebythecurves)

youngmarxist:

So if we have to show women what the baby looks like in their womb and tell them how the process works before allowing them to get an abortion, does that mean we should teach our soldiers about the culture of the lands we’re invading, and explain to them that the people we want them to kill have families and feel pain, just like Americans?

(via for-no0ne)